Remember the scene in "Pretty Woman" where Julia Roberts' character, Vivian, dressed in tacky garb, tries to shop at a chic Beverly Hills boutique only to be ridiculed and told to leave? Movie-going fans around the country rallied for this loveable underdog. We cheered even louder when Vivian, this time clad in designer finery and flailing her Vuitton bags, returned to the store the next day, rebuked the haughty sales associates and proclaimed, "You work on commission, don't you? Big mistake!"

It's fascinating how real life imitates the movies. Recently I've had a number of conversations with women who have related similar experiences - what I call "Pretty Woman Syndrome." These are educated, professional women who committed the gaffe of going out in public in their everyday duds. Who knew it would cause such a fuss to be seen in Gap jeans, carrying an Isaac Mizrahi-for-Target handbag?

Seems that when a woman leaves her haute couture in the closet, things can get, well, ugly. Females seem to gauge success by material possessions, while men (according to the ones I asked) size each other up based on who they know. My female colleagues all recounted an almost identical experience: When they visited various retailers, they were immediately "sized up" by the store personnel and were then completely ignored. When the women sought assistance with potential purchases, they were given the brush-off. "Apparently, I needed my Rolex just to walk in the door," said one rebuffed woman who vowed never to shop in the offending store again. Another friend told me about her daughter's daycare center where she was repeatedly snubbed - until the day she drove up in her BMW. Suddenly, all of the staff and the other mothers wanted to be her friend.

Being terminally inquisitive, I wanted to see for myself what role perceptions and gender play in how we judge and treat one another. So, one day, I put on a pair of jeans, a tee shirt, and grabbed an inexpensive handbag. I put my hair in a ponytail and left my jewelry at home. I looked neat and reasonably put-together, but by no means made a fashion statement. Then I headed to one of our high-end malls to gather my own empirical data.

My experience was eye-opening. I was appraised from head to toe by sales associates who looked with disdain at my choice of apparel. I was ignored, insulted, and spoken to as though I were Vivian herself. "That piece is very expensive," I was told by one salesperson who assumed the garment was out of my price range. Probably was, but I'll never know as I wasn't permitted close enough to see the price tag. My handbag was the conspicuous focus of visual inspection; it lacked a designer logo and upon that discovery, I could quite literally see eyes roll.

To be fair, there were a number of establishments that laid out the red carpet for me. Kind sales people told me how nice I looked, offered their assistance, graciously proffered water, and were delighted to simply chat with me, whether I made a purchase or not. Hats off to these fine merchants and their stellar employees for such professionalism.

Two days later, dressed in the finest my closet has to offer, I returned to the stores where I had been treated poorly. I was again assessed from head to toe but, this time, the sales people doted on me and complimented me on my clothing and accessories.

I have written about image in the past and am a strong believer in the power of nonverbal communication. I encourage my clients to look their best and to feel confident in who they are. However, one person's "best" may include pricey labels and another's may not. Either way, it's moot; true success is defined only by the way we treat others.

Prejudgment and misperceptions can have enormous ramifications on business and social levels. We show little integrity when we surmise another person's value based upon their material possessions. And we demonstrate our own lack of self-esteem when we evaluate another human being's worth. Numerous Biblical references tell us that we shouldn't judge others and, spiritual principles aside, it's simply cruel to devalue or invalidate another person. Whether rich or poor, we are all precious. It would be wonderful if we all looked beyond the superficial to see the invaluable gifts each of us brings to the world.

When it comes to graciousness and kindness, clothing and accouterments can only adorn the wearer. The rest must be cultivated from within.